H has found it.

Paranoia made an unexpected appearance. I caught a glimpse of "real" feelings towards a man.

He goes on a night out...I wonder if he will find it as easy as me.

I sought his reassurance and now the side is down.

Yet a blunt reply from me and he needs smothered in cotton wool to undo it. And then he is back on top.

C is lording my sexual attraction to him over me. I hate that.