H has found it.
Paranoia made an unexpected appearance. I caught a glimpse of "real" feelings towards a man.
He goes on a night out...I wonder if he will find it as easy as me.
I sought his reassurance and now the side is down.
Yet a blunt reply from me and he needs smothered in cotton wool to undo it. And then he is back on top.
C is lording my sexual attraction to him over me. I hate that.
Everyone has a soft spot, even if they appear to be the coldest of people. With some people - its written all over them, others - very hard to extract.
Ex number 3 was like this, she appeared not to give a fuck about feelings etc, then i found her's. She was like split personality after that, it was as if the hard side and soft side could not co-exist with each other, so she came over as a bi-polar maniac.
Personally, i think that some people are installed with an inability to show this side, wheather its becuase of being hurt in the past, or maybe suffering extreme emotional trauma (Death etc)...
They say that you can actually become too strong within yourself, resulting in coming across as being like an emotional paving slab.
Pretty cool stuff, i would have loved to have been a psychologist (I had an ex who was one also, she was very interesting)
C sounds like he has a big head, one of these 'Yeah you know you want to fuck me' types, just make him happy and buy him an Audi TT in yellow and let him suffer in his own pain. lol
I dont agree with guys being like that, confidence is fine, but being a big head is not, i treat these people like they have the bubonic plauge.
' Ring a ring a posies a pocket full of posies, atichoo atichoo, your eyes fall out'
Ok, so i improvised a bit.
B